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Stand, Warrior! Ride!


posted by Susan Dominikovich on , , , , ,

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"Strap your sword to your side, warrior!  Accept praise!  Accept due honour!  Ride majestically!  Ride triumphantly!  Ride on the side of truth!  Ride for the righteous meek!"  (Psalm 45:2-4).  

I have started this post several times.  Each time, I have written a few lines in a different way and then let the words settle in my draft box.  And there they sit, gathering dust.  My draft box has become a black hole for wounds still fresh, hurts still deep, pain still lingering at the surface.

And I've decided, that's okay.  I can move on, be joyful, live in obedience to God while still nursing a few bruises.  God doesn't expect me to package the pain and throw it away. Physical wounds take time to heal and so do the emotional ones.  But He does expect me to let Him take care of them.  He does expect me to get up rather than wallow.  He does expect me to stand again, knowing that He is my foundation and always has been.  He does expect me to ride again, knowing He is the one setting me in the right direction.  He has plans for me, in all the pain and in all the joy.  And His plans are good.

Jesus gives me the courage to stand through the pain.

And so that is what I do.

But even with the courage, there are times, I admit, I lacked the strength.  

And without the strength to stand I risked simpering in a puddle of hurt and tears and bitterness.

But God knew this about me.  God knew exactly what and who I needed so that I could stand even in the early stages of hurt.

He gave me a loyal woman, full of enthusiasm and energy.  A woman who could make me laugh out loud with her hilarious stories but who would also listen to my heartbreak.  She was there for me, day and night and right across the street and was everything I needed when lies and judgment were stabbing me, even though she approaches life from a different faith-view from mine.   She helped me to see that I could still stand because she believed in me, without question. 

God gave me a gentle woman, full of grace.  A woman who didn't know me but wanted to know me.  A woman who was interested in me during casual conversations at the school gate and then during more intimate discussions over coffee.  A woman with her own pain and hurt and betrayal.  A woman with her own story.  A woman full of acceptance and love and interest and empathy.  She helped me to stand again, by simply showing me that I was worthy of knowing.

God gave me a strong woman full of wisdom.  A woman who was plucked out of her city while I was plucked out of mine, to be brought together miraculously, for such a time as this.  A woman with whom I have so much in common and yet from whom I have so much to learn.  A woman whose heart bleeds as much as mine and who sees more good in people and the world than I could ever see.  A woman who is now my sister.  She helped me to stand because she loved me and showed me that I was worthy of being loved.

God gave me a vibrant woman full of passion.  A woman whose laugh makes me know that there is still joy to be felt in this world.  A woman who is so straight-up and sees things so clearly for what they are, she helped me to clear a path through all the confusion and bitterness. But a woman also, whose vulnerability and honesty and reliance on Jesus has taught me that truth hurts, often, but there is no compromising.  That Jesus calls us to a higher standing. She has helped me to stand by understanding exactly where I come from and pointing me in the direction I should go because while she does not go about pretending to have all the answers, she seems to have the ones I need anyway.

Finally but also first, God gave me a gentle woman, full of grace, energy, strength, wisdom, passion and compassion.  She didn't just help me to stand.  She propped me up.  She held my hand every tentative step I took after standing.  She reassured me that I was okay, that I was and am a beautiful creation in Christ and that I am okay.  And when I felt like crumbling, she was my medic and stitched me up and said, "you can do this." And when I felt like riding majestically instead of just standing, she cheered and said, "yay!" and let me go.   And when I spoke my ramblings she helped me to sift through them to find the truth that was hidden there.  That our battle is not with flesh and blood.  That even though I feel so tremendously let down by some, the hurt must be seen for what it is, a ploy of the devil's. And always, she reminds me that Jesus is with me every step of the way.  She helped me to stand because...she is my lobster.  She won't let go.

And then I think of several other women both near and far who have loved me just as much as these five women have loved me.  Women who have prayed for me and encouraged me and who have also believed in me. Women who have blessed me. 

And others still, whom I have met through this blog and through other blogging communities.  Many other amazing and gorgeous women who have their own pain and their own stories, some the same as mine and some different, and yet they stand.  They stand and they sing and they shout and they laugh and they ride.  Together.

So today, I write the words and I stand.  I stand tall.

And I know, God does not intend for us to stand alone.  He intends for us to stand with Jesus.  He intends for us to stand alongside those who also stand for Jesus.  He intends for them to stand with us.

And as we learn what it takes to stand again, how to stand and eventually to ride, we know that there will be those for whom we must also stand.  There will be another woman who crosses our path who also has a story.  

And we will know that it was not for nothing, our falling down and standing back up again. Because someone has helped us to stand and told us to "Strap your sword to your side, warrior!  Accept praise!  Accept due honour!  Ride majestically!  Ride triumphantly!  Ride on the side of truth!  Ride for the righteous meek!"  (Psalm 45:2-4).  

We also will help someone to stand.  We will ride for the righteous meek just as someone else rode for us.

Because as His warriors, it is God's intention for us to stand.  And we will stand.  

Together.



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