"Let the gratefulness overflow into blessing all around you. Then, it will be a really good day." Louie Schwartzberg
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Nothing New Under the Sun

posted by Susan Dominikovich on , , , , , ,

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Believe it or not, I've been at a loss for words.  

It's been two months since I last wrote about 9/11 and good versus evil because nothing has changed and I have simply been at a loss for words ever since. 

When it was my own story of betrayal, grief, injustice, lies, hurt and healing, I could write about it.  I even summed it up with an analogy to having taken the red pill in the Matrix.  I saw and experienced such things which would change me forever but I could write about it because it all began to make sense.  There were things we needed to see and so the changes which followed were necessary and ultimately were for good.  And I was glad for seeing.

We needed to see that there was evil in the world and learn how to protect ourselves and our family from it.  I needed to have my year of the Wolf, putting into practise what I'd learnt about loyalty and family.  Paul and I have put a protective hedge around our four little cubs and woe to anyone who has tried to hurt them.  Our family is the better and stronger for it and on that level alone I am grateful for everything that led to this point.

But then it became someone else's story and that's when I became really angry and that's when I began to wonder if it really did make sense after all.  Because when it wasn't me but someone else that I dearly loved who was betrayed and hurting, there was no amount of reasoning or justification for it.  It was completely and utterly unfair.

It was wrong.

I was at a loss for words to explain it.  I still am.  And I'm still angry.

Except to say that nowhere in the Bible are we ever promised an easy life, a sugar-coated life.  Jesus does not say, "Follow me and you'll have it easy!"  Rather, he promises quite the opposite.  And not just once but time and time again we are told to get our armour on, get ready, the onslaught is coming. 

It is already here.

A friend of mine recently wrote in her blog about the rain outside her window and how it matched the rain she felt inside.  I get that.  But as I read her words late last night, I had to admit that I don't see the sun peaking through the clouds anytime soon.  Or at least, when it does, it certainly won't be shining in it's full glory for me like it used to.  It's not that I am depressed or sad or forever melancholic. It's that I am honest.  It's that I'm more knowledgeable, more discerning.  It's that I'm armed.

And then my 9-year old daughter who is wiser than her years gave me a verse this morning. She was actually showing me Ecclesiastes 12:1 and said it meant something for her but my eye was instantly drawn to the words "rain clouds" in verse 2:  "Remember him [your Creator] before the light of the sun, moon, and stars is dim to your old eyes, and rain clouds continually darken your sky."  (Ecclesiastes 12:2, NLT).  

There's a word there.  It's an important word.  And probably one we'd rather weren't written on the page.


The writer is referring to the relentless physical ageing of the body but I believe the metaphor is much bigger than that.  For me, the rain clouds refer to the spiritual darkness hanging over us.  I have joked that I didn't grow up until I turned 40 but I'm only half-laughing when I say it.  Because actually, that's when I started to see firsthand the potential for evil which lies in the heart of humankind and that's when my eyes started to open and that is certainly when the rain clouds started to darken my sky.  And I hate to have to tell you this, whatever the rain clouds represent, they are guaranteed to darken your sky too.


Our response to the inexplicable and relentless evil we see in this world can only be this: remember Jesus. Remember Jesus who was shamed and betrayed and lied to.  Remember Jesus who was whipped and tried and hung on a cross to die.  
Remember Jesus "before the rain clouds continually darken your sky" because you will need Him when they do.  And my faith tells me that is enough.  It is enough just to remember Him and to need Him.

Because He gets it too.

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